so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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