Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
