she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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