so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Congratulations! We have a period
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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