ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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