at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
