She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
