you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
