I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
