quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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