I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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