oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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