According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
