And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
