I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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