Sponge bath it is.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
