Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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