Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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