what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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