Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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