well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
