We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
