Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
