there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize