you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
