The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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