You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
