Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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