we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
