my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
