I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
