I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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