He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
