if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
