You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
