I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
