i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
