Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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