it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
her vagine was all disorganized.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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