Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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