Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
