wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
