Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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