OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
