i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
well you can't waste a boner
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
