I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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