i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
