the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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