I'm jealous of your bromance
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
