Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
