Buhtt sex?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
