am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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