he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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