How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
