Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
