Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize