I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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