you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
