Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
