If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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