Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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