wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think I just sharted jello shots
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
