hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
