your room smells of hookers.
And success
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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